This morning began with me throwing a temper tantrum. Now normally I would not state such a thing, but I decided that this new adventure abroad also calls for some accountability. So, yes, this morning the 24/7 hip to hip contact with my husband, the small and quickly becoming claustrophobic apartment, the ridiculously chilly and damp weather all came colliding together and created a tempest in a teapot (I heard this phrase today and fell in love with it!). There were slamming doors, kicking of sleeping bags, throwing toilet paper rolls again the wall (which may have been better when the walls weren't so close because the toilet paper just came back and smacked me in the stomach). I think I even growled at the mircowave for hitting me and I slammed my fist into the bathroom door when it bounced off the luggage beside it and smacked me in the forehead. Lenny was of course outside waiting because two people cannot ready at the same time in this little piece of heaven. He missed most of these events, but he definitly caught wind of the grey clouds that followed me all the way to Bank Street Station, and when he tried to lead us in yet again another wrong direction he definitly got a whiff it then too!
Luckily the temper faded as we ventured into The London Dungeon; perhaps because its ambience met my mood, but I would bet that the fluid combination of historical education and theme park entertainment combined to just remind me that there are great things about being here in the city. Some of the amazing things about the Dungeon:
Dungeon Dope # 1: Dope actually does not just mean crack cocaine or an flaming idiot, it also means facts, data, the inside scoop and for the sake of a fun alitteration it will be the word of the night for tonight!
Dungeon Dope # 2: We got to venture into the bowels of prison life in England from the 1600-1800s. I got the pleasure of reliving all of me European and British History courses, and though most of the time it was lacking the educational value, I could still imagine what it would have been like for people living in Britain at that time. Ever see the movie The Man in the Iron Mask? Well as I walked through the dreary dungeon, with its iron prison cells, faint lighting and smell of must and smolder, that is what I often thought of. If you haven't watched it, don't bother. The best part is when Leonardo DiCaprio is inside the iron mask, and unfortunately that part doesn't last very long.
Dungeon Dope # 3: We experienced the Great Fire of 1666, the streets during the plague, what it would be like to be on trial (for which in the 1700s, 222 crimes were punishable by death inclusing shooting a rabbit or wearing a disguise). We went to court and experienced what it was like to be sentenced to death, and got to take a simulated ride through the one and only Traitor's Gate! During the time of Kind Edward I and many others thousands of British citizens were sailed through those gates, chained and beaten on their way to prison cells where they would await their execution for believed treason. Of course very few of those citizen actually committed treason, and very few of them were ever able to escape their fate. It was insanely cool to be loaded onto a ship and taken through those gates and into the prisons (where of course they had moaning actors and fake corpses!).
Dungeon Dope # 4: We got to go on a hanging simulation ride. It was ridiculously cool, and the most hilarious part was post ride when we saw our photos. Lenny was leaning into my shoulder and his face was an exact replication of a child about to vomit minus the hand across the mouth. His hand was across his chest. My face was eyes as wide as those discs you throw in track and field and a tiny o shaped my lips. Let's just say when the ride started I was completely taken by shock and surprise; nonetheless a very cool simlation and it made me feel very sad knowing that while we are experiencing for entertainment purposes so many people actually walked to the gallows and met a very non-entertaining fate. What is even sadder is that the simlulation made sure to illustrate how the city would flock to the execution gallows to cheer as the "criminal" took their place. Disturbing dope # 1, we still do this today, flock to watch the gory and the gruesome.
Dungeon Dope # 5: We got to experience Queen Mary Tudor, more commonly known as Bloody Mary and her tyrannical rule to execute all the heretics. Though I would not have wanted to be born and raised during her reign, as far as history goes she was always my British fave.
Dungeon Dope # 6: We got a mini Jack the Ripper tour, including BB a re-enactment of the very murder that took place on your birthday! We got the run down of all the possible suspects, and of course were left bewildered to who the real killer was. No surprise for the Brit's though, an American Doctor was the prime suspect.
Following the Dungeon we made our way to the Tate Modern Museum which houses contemporary art. Now some of the art was amazingly interesting, and I posted some of them below, but first for the strange and bizzarre.
Artistic Absurdity # 1: 20 feet x 20 feet canvases with large red circles. It looked like a child took a crayola marker and went nuts drawing rapid spirals on the white wall before mom could notice.
Artistic Absurdity # 2: There were four of them. Not only was there no apparent creativity in the first one, but he went on to make three more! What the heck is up with that? My cousin's 4 year old daughter Julia could make works of art a million times better; maybe I should become her agent?
Artistic Absurdity # 3: A large knitted vagina. Yep. I really wish I was joking but I not. What the point was I am not sure, but it was there. 30 feet high, about 20 feet wide in all of its abstract form and glory. At least it was abstract, unlike the many nude pictures of women that had very little abstract about them.
Artistic Absurdity # 4: I understand that this # may be subject to a lot of debate, but I am throwing it out there: Andy Warhol. I seriously don't get why painting ten Marylin Monroe heads in some bright neon colors and shades makes million dollar art. Today's exhibit was 12x12 camoflauge paintings, exactly like a pair of pants. Shades of pinks, one in shades of blue. It isn't fashion people, it certainly isn't art.
Artistic Absurdity # 5: Piles of clay dumped on the floor, about 30 feet x 30 feet of clay that looks like it plopped out of a tube and landed on the floor with a distgusting slurp along the way. Lenny had no comment except for a raise of the eyebrows; I of course called it for what it was: piles of poo. It looked like a herd of St. Bernards and Great Danes traipsed through the gallery and crapped all over the floor. It wasn't art, it was piles of what Lenny just now called "turds on the floor" and it was weird.
Artistic Absurdity # 6: A sheet of red clay. Seriously people, you don't just sell a red clay sheet you turn it into profitable touristy wardrobes! Instead this guy probably had to pay the gallery to actually take this dirty old sheet; bizarre.
Now for the ones we like: Pictures are included in these selections!
This is a piece by an artist I cannot remember! What I liked about it is his rebellion! He decided that art did not have to be defined by colors, and so he created an entire work of art in white which is believed to be the absence of color!
This again by an artist we cannot remember, but he designed an entire series of these in various shades and dimenstions. His idea was to create a visual representation of feeling caged, trapped or lost inside of yourself. This was my favorite.
CLAUDE MONET!!! This is one of his water lily paintings. I made Lenny go back three times, and I did something I never thought I would do...I sat on a bench and simply stared like a fool, yes with a wide grin an everything! It was without a doubt the most amazing thing I have ever seen. I can't wait to go back and see it again!
PABLO PICASSO!!! Holy cow, I nearly died! I never expected to see one of his paintings here!
There were actually eleven pieces of his work; this was my favorite one! Picasso!...wow!
This is an abstract peice of art by Gunther Uecker. I don't think it was one of Lenny's favorites but this was another one of mine. I stared at this one for a long time as well. It is a white canvas with white nails carefully and strategically placed through the canvas so that everytime you looked at it, moved and looked again it actually looked like a wheat field gently blowing in the breeze. It was amazingly interesting and mind boggling to how he created it; now only if it was in gold like an actual wheat field!
This was by HENRI MATISSE!!!!! Again, there were lots of cool paintings by his, but this was my favorite. This is an abstract representation of nature, specifically the snail. I am thinking that of all the paintings considered to be favorites, this will be the most debtated on...in particular by my mother who will argue that I made the same thing out of glue and tissue paper when I was five.Oh, forgot to mention one thing. Call backs came in today and I got the call! I have my interview Friday at noon! Wish me luck! Well that's it for tonight. Tomorrow is weather dependent. If it is nice out we are heading to the much anticipating Buckingham Palace as well as to the Parliament, Big Ben and Westminister Abbey along with a stroll through one of England's famous parks. If it is raining than we are heading to the Tate Britain Art Gallery and the Sea Life Acquarium; I know random plans, but this is the life of a nomadic tourist awaiting a job!
Cheers!
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