And So it Goes...

Discovery # 17: Madame Tussards is not worth the price you pay, especially when you arrive at the same time as a high school (and no I do not mean a class, I mean an entire high school). Imagine how girls giggle and squeal over a poster of the famous Twilight star Mr. Robert Pattison, now imagine how they squeal when they get to pose with an almost perfect replica of him. Add in Brad Pitt, David Beckham and Will Smith and you can imagine how ridiculous painful our afternoon was. We literally had to squeeze through the crowd most of the afternoon, and by the time I actually stepped out of Madame Tussards I had been elbowed in the chest and face more than forty times.

Discovery # 18: Urban parks are not the same thing as being outdoors in nature, and just so we are all clear you Toronto, New York and never leave the city folk just because you spent an afternoon at the petting zoo and playing soccer in a grassy field that was manufactured and architecturally designed this does not mean you experienced “rural living”.

Discovery # 19: If you find shepherd’s pie in England on sale for 2 pounds or less, DO NOT BUY. It is without a doubt hazardous to your health, and besides that it tastes so terrible you actually crave Burger King while eating it.

Discovery # 20: The Queen is the biggest thing going over here. You might think the Twilight and Harry Potter crew, along with football heros and The Beatles are rock stars over here, but they shine a pale pale light beside this old brod. We in Canada never got the whole royalty thing, in fact with the Queen’s visit this year Canadians are down 30% in favour of even being part of the Commonwealth; but you can’t say stuff like that over here. Seriously, I think someone might kill you. They know everything about her, random facts that no one should know about everything. On top of that everyone talks about her like she is their best friend. The only thing I know about her is that I like seeing her face; it means I have money.

Discovery # 21: Always investigate a “good” deal on a flat over here. We are in Harlesden, London. The flat looked great in the pictures; and the price was within an arm’s reach of our budget. Well, let’s look at the reality of our little flat # 2 shall we. One: we live above a launderette, which is basically in Canadian terms a Laundromat (in case you were wondering!), thus the temperature of the apartment is always at a balmy 30 degrees. Two: It has in the past, and to some still is, the murder capital of London. Considering Jack the Ripper basically defined history in Whitechapel with his string of murders, this is saying something. Three: It has a high gang rate activity, which of course white man America blames on its high multicultural status. Just so we are clear, there are lots of white man sporting some gangster wardrobes, so white man should reconsider. Now, those are its less flattering features, there are two features which I happen to like. Four: Apartment is without a doubt bordering on the 2-3 times bigger than our last flat so cheers to that (in fact we both toasted some stella as soon as we walked in!) and five: It is the reggae capital of England, who doesn’t love that!

Now, as for our adventures over the past few days. One, we went to Madame Tussards which I already spoke about. Posted below are some pics of the less harrowing exhibits. Coolest part of the exhibit: The infamous serial killers of England in the “Scream” exhibit. Way cool! We even got to see the guillotine that beheaded Mary Antoinette! I took a picture of course (see below!)

On that same day we also did Supper in SOHO with my cousin Scott, which included an unintentional detour route through Soho's red light district...one thought: OH MY (with a shock face). We also did a tour around Sherlock Holmes, # 221 Baker Street!

The next couple of days were spent relaxing, packing and moving. The moving part is a real pain in the behind. Want a description? Shrink yourself down to 5.2” if you aren’t already in that ballpark. Put a 3 foot backpack on your back weighing approximately 50 lbs. Then, pack a suitcase to an approximate weight of 65 pounds. Then, grab two sobey’s reusable green bags and fill them with groceries, approximately 15 pounds. The grab a smaller backpack, approximately 22 pounds and figure out where to put that. Now, ask your friend or your partner to do the exact same thing and see if you can help each other out. Of course, you haven’t left you living room yet silly! You are moving afterall. So now let’s go up three flights of stairs with all of that luggage, approximately 68 steps. The of course you need to come back down, but just a cautionary note your luggage may go flying down the stairs accidentally or it may tip over several times while attempting this. Now you get to wait five minutes, enjoying the weight of that super duper backpack which of course tips and sways every now and then because the top is heavier than the bottom. While waiting you should go to the mall, because it is only then that you will have hundreds (and I’m not joking) of people stare, point, whisper and laugh. The next step of the journey may be hard for you to replicate, but you can try if you wish. You need to board a bus, train or subway in which you have standing room only and not all your luggage can fit. You will take that packed train, bus or subway 15 minutes then attempt to get everything off of it. Another cautionary note, you only have 15 seconds, twenty other people are getting off as well along with twenty people waiting to get on in that same 15 seconds, and things still like to tip over. Now you have to find a cab. Ah, moving days are so much fun aren’t they! Needless to say we did nothing but grocery shop and sleep for two days!

Yesterday we went on an outside London day adventure. Thoughts: FANTASTIC!

Stop # 1: Windsor Castle: Thoughts: HOLY COW!

Highlight # 1: It was built by William the Conqueror who though had a bit of a sketchy passed I happened to enjoy learning about in history class at UPEI.

Highlight # 2: Two, we saw amour and actual knight gear from like centuries and centuries ago.

Highlight # 3: Saw the bed that some of the great kings slept in, including Henry the VIII (though I am not sure how much actual sleeping he did J)

Highlight # 4: Saw tons of amazing British and Italian paintings like Rembrandt, Dyke and so forth. It was stunning

Highlight # 5: Saw the “round table” of the knights, including all the shields; even those of the shamed and stripped knights!

Highlight # 6: Stood on Henry VIII’s grave! (well his vault actually!)

Highlight # 7: Saw the dolls and dollhouses of the Queen’s (they were princesses at the time I hope!)

Stop # 2 on our out of London adventure: The City of Bath: Thoughts: HOLY COW!

Highlight # 1: Saw where Johnny Depp lives

Highlight (I think!) # 2: Saw where Nicholas Cage lives

Highlight # 3: Drove through the towns and villages that sparked all of Jane Austen’s novels. I nearly died in heaven imaging it all!

Highlight # 4: Walked on cobbled stones and sat near a Roman healing bath which is more than 2000 years old!

Highlight # 5: Got to stroll around the city that almost every British noble has also strolled around, and coolest part almost all of the city is 500 years old!

Highlight # 6: The Bath Abby (pics below) and listening to their choir practice

Stop # 3: Stonehenge: Oh dear...

Highlight # 1: Got to check it off the bucket list.

Never got to do the Greenwich day yet, but since Mr. Johnny Depp is currently there filming the next Pirates of the Caribbean you know that’s where I will be tomorrow; peaking through wired fences for a glimpse! Tuesday Lenny has to work so I am going on a Notting Hill film walking tour which will take me to all the spots that were filmed or used in the film throughout the movie (too bad it won’t include High Grant!). On the agenda for this week is also to be the Museum of Natural History and the long awaited Jack the Ripper walking tour. Of course the weather has to hold out, fingers crossed!

Cheers until tomorrow!