Our Discoveries Thus Far

Discovery # 1: English may be the language that is spoken, but we understand very little and no one seems to understand us. @ is not a common terminology, in fact they will ask you to spell it for them. O can only be understood if you say "O" is for Oscar. Holland, even though it is a commonly reffered to country in Europe (people can't be bothered to just say Netherlands) can be anything from Holiday to Hollinger, never Holland. Cell phone is always mobile, in fact many don't know what a cell phone is. Subway is a restaurant or a walking tunnel that helps your avoid waiting for busy traffic. You can never take a hotel room, you must book it. You can never get a coffee to go, you must always take away. Street names spoken leave us both looking at each other to see who translated it the best: Fleet Street was best heard as Flitch, Chancery was best heard as Chancellor; needless to say finding our way has been challenging.

Discovery # 2: If you don't have a phone number or address you are basically in a big huge pile of trouble as even buying a tube pass requires one. You can simply guess how well that went for us!

Discovery # 3: Women love to call you by terms of endearment, especially those who work in pubs. We have been called sweetheart, darling, dear, honey and pet. Occasionally all in one sentence.

Discovery # 4: Canada is only from Vancouver to Toronto. They are actually stunned to learn there are provinces and places that extend further east.

Discovery # 5: No one eats after 6. In fact, many pubs and restaurants don't even serve food at this time of night. So far we have eaten out three times in the evening, and in a fully packed establishment we have been the only ones to eat. It is mildly awkward to say the least.

Discovery # 6: Everyone carries an umbrella. Everyone, in fact Lenny and I bought two. Mine is already broken of course and does little to actually stop the rain, but at least we are assimilating nicely.

Discovery # 7: Apartments are not apartments. They are small linen closets with fancy websites designed to make them seem more glamourous than they really are.

Discovery # 8: Apparently tourists traveling from countries with the "right" way to drive are stupid, because in London they have actually taken millions of dollars to paint with words and symbols which way to look to avoid getting run over.

Discovery # 9: There is no diet pepsi in Britain. Oh sure they say there is, but it tastes like Coke. Anyone who says it doesn't is lying.

Discovery # 10: Transportation is even more intense than in Toronto. Babies (safely inside their strollers) are shoved into closing tube doors for fear of having to wait three minutes for the next one. Cramming 500 people into one tube car is indeed doable, and supposedly such a necessity that people actually do it. Buses can carry more people on their top floor than an entire school bus and no one thinks this is strange or a safety concern. No one walks, everyone runs with their rollaway luggage and flapping newspapers to catch trains, taxi's, busses and tubes. I think some of them need watches.

Discovery # 11: Everyone reads a newspaper. Standing, sitting, kneeling, walking it does not matter. Newspapers are open and people of all ages, backgrounds and sizes are reading them. I haven't seen anyone read a newspaper for years, in fact in North America newspapers are actually becoming an entirely online thing. This world of real, paper and ink newspapers in the hands of almost every citizen is very impressive. With their Costa latte's and endless supply of Earl's Grey tea and newspapers in hand, I think I might be liking this little piece of crazy.